Pour It Out

A couple of weeks back when we were looking at the life of Samuel, it started with his mom in the temple praying for a baby.  In I Samuel 1:15 she was accused of being drunk by the priest because he couldn't understand her.

She quickly told him that she wasn't drunk but that she was "pouring her heart out before the Lord".  I have thought of that so many times in the last weeks.  What does that mean exactly?

Oh, I have desperately prayed for things on many occasions.  For the physical healing of those I loved and many I didn't even know.   For spiritual healing.   For marriages.   For wayward children.  For the protection of my children and others who could be in harm's way.

Desperately.

But have I really poured my heart out before the Lord?  

I looked up the Hebrew word for "poured".  Don't you cringe a little when I do that?  Seems to always put a different slant to a word.  Sometimes it is a slant that makes things a little uncomfortable.

This definition doesn't disappoint.

        Poured:  1) to pour, pour out, spill

       2) to shed (blood)

                     3) to pour out (anger or heart) 

When I come to the Lord, desperate in heart, fearful in heart, I must come to Him willing to pour it out - to shed the blood. 

 Ready to die to myself, my desires, my fears, my desperations.

Desiring Him more than I desire the answer to my 

prayer.

Oh my.  

Most of the time all I can see is the answer I want.  The answer I think I need.  

All He wants is for me to want more of Him.

Giving thanks today.

In Hobby Lobby last week Rachel and I found a wrought iron BLESSINGS wall hanging that I knew I had to have.  Especially because it was on sale.  I've been wanting something for a space on the wall that has been blank because I hadn't found the perfect thing to hang.

Found it.

Love it.

A constant reminder of the things God has done for us.  So many blessings.  So much to be thankful for:

   . . . flags blowing a different direction

   . . . Sam's heart that wants God to use his injury for His glory

   . . . piano

   . . . Keith's numbers back closer to normal

   . . . music that speaks to my heart

   . . . screen doors

   . . . breeze blowing from front door to back

   . . . calls every night from Hannah while she is away.

BLESSINGS.