Blessed Assurance, Jesus is Mine

This is my story, this is my song.  

Praising my Savior, all the day long.

Whenever you find Him, He will never lose you.  Nothing can knock you out of His hand.  Sometimes it may not seem like it, though.  Sometimes it seems

like you keep walking through trials and you are all alone.

I put my hand on the window that separated us and thought how it was just like on television.  My hand "touching" her hand through the glass.  Me wearing my pink shirt and jeans, she wearing the county orange jumpsuit that matches the other inmates. And just in case they forgot, they had it written in big letters across their backs. 

 INMATE.

She knew Jesus.  Now she was having to face the consequences of her actions

 before she met Him.  Part of her wonders why He didn't intervene and

keep her from having to do this time away from her daughter.  I wonder too.  But we both knew the plan was bigger than we could understand.

Blessed assurance, Jesus is hers.

After we hang up the black phone, with tears running down her cheeks, she mouths "I love you", as the guard escorts her back to her little spot in the world for the

next few months.  

We went to the hearing to find out how many times we would have to mark X on the calendar squares before we could actually put arms around her.  

This is where we met her dad.  

A relationship was begun that would have never happened if

we hadn't visited her several times and then gone to the hearing.

He loved that we loved his daughter.

When she got out, she brought him to church.  Not long after that he knew he had a hole that needed to be filled.  Nothing he had ever done could fill that hole like Jesus.

He wept as he went through the water.  We weren't sure we could get that 6'5" frame all folded up in that trough.  But we did.

Blessed assurance, Jesus is his.

I run into a precious one at the grocery store.  The question "how are you?" makes her cry.  It's not about the day to day stuff.  All she can think about is there is no baby. 

 Every month she prays yes but every month her body bleeds no.

The tears fall into the basket.  

My heart hurts so bad for her because I am connected to that same kind of pain.  

The kind of pain there are no words for.  Praying peace over her.

And strength.

And that His praises will continually be in her mouth.

Oh Jesus, only You can heal.  Can strengthen.

Blessed assurance, Jesus is hers.

I hear of a single mom of several.  She made choices to make her life better and now walks a road of trying to do it mostly by herself.  

I know some days it may seem impossible.  

Some days lonely.  

I know the dread of starting another day without the help of another adult,

 just in case I might get something wrong, or need encouragement.

She says she has no regrets.  I love that.  

I pray for her peace, and her strength as she walks this journey of her choice.

Blessed assurance, Jesus is hers.

Sometimes the prayer needs of those I love seem overwhelming.  

I continue to lift them up to Jesus for His comfort and peace.  

I know that it is enough, but I want them to know it. 

 To feel it.  To embrace it.

If we can, if I can continue to embrace it and believe it, then 

His praise will continually be on my lips.

He continues to write my story, your story.  My song, your song.

I, we can praise Him all the day long.

 He is trustworthy like that.

Blessed Assurance, Jesus is Mine.

They Say it Comes in Threes

I'm not sure who they are but I remember it from being in church all my life.  It seems as if when one person dies, two others follow suit shortly thereafter.  It's an unexplained rule.

I thought about that Monday last when I was driving to Duncanville to meet Michael for a service he was doing to remember a 27 year old mom of three and got a call that one of our dear men was on his way to the ER with a heart attack.  Oh no.  I didn't want the rule of threes to hit our family again.

Thankfully, he came home the next day and showed up to help with Bible School that night.  Whew, that was close.

Tuesday night I got a call that there was a young family expecting a baby who found out there was no heartbeat.  Wanted to know if I could do pictures for them as they said goodbye before they ever got to say hello.  It was one of the hardest, most beautiful things I've ever been a part of.  Little angel, oh, so precious.

Saturday we get a call that one of our men was on his way home to surprise his family after being away for over two years.  He had been in different care facilities after an accident and was going to surprise his sweet wife and daughter.  His wife was getting settled at home after a surgery when the local hospital called to say her husband was there.  He didn't make it.

So I guess they were right.

Where is the comfort in that week of grief?  Everywhere.

There are many kids I know that have no idea where their mommies are.  Because mommies have decided they would be happier somewhere else.  With someone else.

There are three little ones this week who know exactly where their mommy is.  There is a teenage girl who knows where her dad is, no longer in a wheelchair.  A wife who knows where her husband is and a mommy and daddy who know that their precious baby is in the arms of Jesus.

And better than knowing where they are is knowing that they will ALL see them again!

So much sweetness.

So much comfort.

Comfort in the knowledge of the reality of heaven.  Comfort in the arms of those around them, praying for them, holding them.

Comfort in the remembering.  Some remembering years of life together, some remembering only hours.

I believe three is the number of God.  

He is the Three in One.

 * Our Father.  The creator of the universe.  

All that ever was and is was created by Him.

 * His Son.  The only way to the Father.  John 14 says that 

Jesus is the way, the truth, and the life.  

No one gets to the Father,

 but through
Him.

  * Holy Spirit.  Our messenger to the throne, whether we 

speak it, sigh it, or weep it.

This past week was a roller coaster of emotion.  The grief over lives lost and the joy of kids running all over the church every night and ending their evenings
 with their little hands raised in praise to the
Three in One.

Working on family pictures like no other, having to get up every once in awhile for a break to cook for the 100+ hungry tummies that would walk through the doors later that day.  Cooking while crying and breathing and praying over for the ones in the photo.

And then, hands in air, praising Him myself, for the number Three, because no matter how it comes or what it brings, there is growth. And so much Comfort.

God is Enough

What do you say to a weeping mother who just hugged her 30 year old firstborn one last time before they zipped up the bag? Or to the sister who can't make sense of it all?

What do you say to the young mother who was just served with divorce papers, wondering how she is going to do all this with little ones? How can she keep a sense of normalcy in such chaos?

What do you say to the family who is sideways with each other because of years of unhealthy behaviors? Family who doesn't realize they have the choice to stop those behaviors?

What do you say to the recovering addict, 137 days clean, after years and years of drug dependence? Who is desperate to stay clean?

"GOD IS ENOUGH!"

He is enough to fill up the huge hole in the heart of a grieving momma and hurting sister. He is enough to be the arms to hold a betrayed heart until she falls asleep in peace. He is enough to encourage family to step up and do the right thing by choosing to do what He would do. He is definitely enough to be what feeds the hunger inside when our bodies cry out for what is not best for us.

Monday night at Bible study we were in Psalm 121. Such a comforting place to be in the midst of all the loss and destruction going on in lives right now.

1) I lift up my eyes to the hills, from where does my help come? My help comes from the Lord who made heaven and earth.

I've seen several different interpretations of this. Some think the hills held danger and uncertainty in the journey and the psalmist knew he was needing help from the Lord. Some think the hills represent the holy place of God and the writer has his eyes set on his Deliverer. I've even heard from a La Leche Leage friend that this verse is proof that David was a breastfed baby. Sorry. Couldn't resist.

I personally lean to the hills being full of danger and uncertainty. When my big kids were small we moved to Houston. This small town girl from west Texas was ready to conquer the big city. One day I decided to load the kids up and we were going to see downtown Houston. So excited. There were several things though that I didn't take into consideration:

1. Our car was old and if you slowed down or stopped and the air conditioner was running, the car would die.
2. East Texas is stupid hot. And stupid humid.

We took off and got downtown to all the super tall buildings and people everywhere. All of the sudden we spotted a McDonalds in a building with a parking garage. We thought that was the coolest thing. Wait 'til the folks back home heard about this! I was a tad bit afraid of the garage because it seemed like all the murders that happened on Magnum P.I. were in parking garages. I decided I wouldn't rob the kids of their excitement because of my phobias, so we pulled in and took the ticket, then noticed how much it was going to cost to park. I barely had enough for the meal so I found the exit and came out on a different street than we went in.

Where I was raised, you could see the lights at night of several different towns from the roof of my house. When you are in the big city with tall buildings all around you, you can't even find the sun to know what direction you are going. I was starting to get a little panicy because everytime I would come to a red light in my search for familiar, the car would die. I would turn off the air conditioner but it was so hot the kids were starting to get sick. I didn't want to roll the windows down because I had heard stories of the big city. Yes, panic is a good word for what I was feeling. I've always had a little bit of fear of being lost in the woods and that was what was creeping in. So I fully identify with the interpretation of seeing those hills and crying out for help.

I don't know about you, where you are, or what you are walking through; but I do know this: there is great comfort in knowing that my help comes from the One Who spoke this world into existence. THE ONE WHO SPOKE THIS WORLD INTO EXISTENCE! He listens when I talk to Him. He holds me when my heart hurts. He laughs when I laugh and He comforts me when I am afraid.

I sometimes write down my prayers. Monday morning my prayer was this: "Lord, You know the needs of the ones You send our way. Meet those needs Father. Use our hands, our words, our smiles, and our eyes to show them You." When I prayed that prayer, I didn't know how many people were going to need to see Him in such a short period of time.

He's really my only answer. I'm amazed at His "enoughness".

No Burdens There

Tony and Genevieve started coming to the Cowboy Church about three years ago. Tony began attending the men’s bible study on Monday nights, loving the study and interaction between the men. He shared with us early on that he was battling cancer and knew he was getting closer to the end. Tony was in a lot of pain. He shared those things with Michael but didn’t let on to anyone the way he was feeling. Never complained. Ever. Most people didn’t even know he was sick.

He told Michael once that every Sunday morning when he would come into church, he would see the hat rack and leave his burdens there. As he passed the hat rack on the way out, he realized he didn't have to carry them back out the door. He left them with the Lord. Our first Sunday in the new building Michael made sure the hat rack was there so Tony would be able to continue to unload as he had the many months before.

The last several months Tony couldn’t come to church. He asked us to pray that he could have one more Monday night with the men. He got it. Thirty-something men showed up that night to hear what advice a dying man would give. Changed many of their lives.

A man in our church made a hat rack to go in the room where the men meet on Mondays. Tony left his hat there. He doesn’t need it anymore. There are no burdens in heaven.