Wrinkles in your Ear Lobes

There have been a few times in the past when I have shared some of the interesting things about the aging process. You gotta know that you can choose to cry about them, or in my case, make fun of them and live life instead of hole myself up in the farmhouse.

I remember when I was younger seeing older women who wore earrings alot. The holes in the earlobes got bigger and bigger. Then I noticed something else. A wrinkle in the earlobe. Now, my earlobes are really small. I don't have the hangy-down kind, they just kind of scoot over and attach straight to my head. I've been grateful for that except I recently discovered that even small earlobes can get a wrinkle. Darn. Surely that isn't what I saw in the 10x. Oh, but it was.

I'm not one for surgery to combat the aging process in the upper third region of my body. I know I qualify for all kinds of procedures and I'm sure not against anyone else doing it, but it just isn't for me. That is why I'm continually on the hunt for creams and lotions to thwart the aging process that is inevitable. The problem I have is how do you know how to do it all? Do you put the age spot eliminator on before or after the wrinkle reducer? Is the eye cream any different than the others, and is it okay if it overlaps? Will one mess up the active ingredient of the other? What about the skin tightening cream? Does it come with a roller?

I figured out that some of the facial wrinkle problems could be eliminated by how you sleep on your pillow. So at night I lay my face on my pillow then ever so slightly move it toward the edge. Pulling all that extra skin toward my ears should make for a pretty smooth face in the morning. Works if you can pull off sleeping in the same postion all night wtihout waking up with neck and shoulder pain the next morning. Just figured out that's probably where the ear lobe got it's wrinkle. Shoot.

Who Wears Short Shorts

Back in the mid seventies there was a commercial for Nair leg hair remover. These girls all came out in really short shorts with really long legs poking out of those really short shorts. They were arm in arm sort of doing the "hey, hey with the monkeys" walk showing off those hair-free long legs.

I decided I needed to try the Nair, after all, I had just finished sewing my own pair of short shorts. I think the term we used was "hot pants". Gee. I can't imagine with a name like that how I ever even got out of the house. Probably because I was wearing some dark panty hose underneath so it didn't seem quite so revealing. And white sandals. I'm sorry.

I was reminded of these things last week when I was pulling out the Sally Hansen facial hair remover from my make up drawer. Yes, I said facial hair remover.

There are many fascinating things that come with growing older. Loss of eyesight, loss of metabolism, loss of estrogen and . . . hair growth. Hair growth on your face.

Kudos to the retailers of the world who jump right in there to help us manage the loss of so much with products that make us feel like normal people. Normal young people. We have reading glasses/10x magnifying mirrors, bigger clothes, and hormone replacement therapy. And Sally Hansen Facial Hair Remover.

The problem is that I subconsciously think that because my facial hair is blonde and I can't see it, that nobody else sees it either. I do try, however, to stay out of direct sunlight so my face won't resemble the waving wheat of Oklahoma.

So I put the cream on my face, remember the burn I used to feel on my legs years ago and wait the 3-5 minutes before wiping it off with a damp rag.

The problem is that lately I haven't hardly been home. There were no clean rags. So I used toilet paper, wiped off the cream, checked myself out in the bathroom mirror. Looked pretty darn good.

I then pulled out the 10x magnifying mirror. Not only was there still hair that needed to be evacuated, there was also traces of Charmin Ultra Soft wedged in between some of that hair. All over my face.

The scary thing is that if I hadn't checked out my 10x mirror, I could have left the house with toilet paper scraps all over my face that could very well attract attention to the left over hair.

Don't get me wrong. I love growing older. I just don't want it to get away from me. I can embrace some of the idiosyncrasies and try to counter some of the others. In order to do that I may need to price a 20x lighted mirror.

Crepe

Crepe - 1 a light, thin fabric with a wrinkled surface
2 black silk or imitation silk, formerly used for mourning clothes
3 a thin pancake

This morning I was driving and looked at my hands and the word crepe came to my mind. Maple syrup never even popped into my head. It didn't help that I saw an elderly lady in her swimsuit this morning. She was cute as she could be, but she looked like she was covered with definition #1. I know she looks precious in her clothes, but without them she could use some clothespins.

I don't like saggy skin so I've done my best to keep mine filled out. But I know the inevitable is coming. For over half a century I've scrubbed, tanned, lotioned, oiled, used, abused, and mistreated my covering. Always thought I had pretty good elasticity until the last few years. It just keeps getting looser. Makes me a little sad. Even if I was in great shape like that sweet little swimming grandma was, I would still be loose. That's where the mourning comes in from definition #2.

So to anyone who really gives a rip, I promise from here on out to keep my loose skin covered. Of course it's still filled out pretty well right now so it's not a lot to worry about just yet. As a matter of fact, that could be a good argument for eating a whole stack of definition #3.

Who Needs Oil of Olay?

I love the change I see in the faces of people as they grow in the Lord. I told the ladies the other night that it was better than Oil of Olay. You can visibly see a softness come over the faces and in their voices the more they are in the word. It is transforming.

Last night we had 22 youth for our Wednesday night meeting. I'm not afraid of kids. Kinda like them in fact. That's why I had a few for myself. So it took me a little by surprise when I looked around the circle of almost grown kids; some wearing cowboy attire, some pajama pants, some in school clothes, that I felt a little sense of panic. About 10 or so of them have been coming awhile and you could tell. The others were here for friends, social interaction, to find a date. Or at least that's what they thought. They were really here because God wants to start the facial treatment on yet another group.

Why the panic? Don't ask me. At one point I think that "I'm too old for this" went through my brain. Thinking back, I remember sitting in the Baptist Student Center in Snyder wondering if I would ever be able to have a relationship with these rodeo girls who could pick up a barrel from the arena and toss it over the fence. Rodeo girls don't have a lot in common with former prissy cheerleader girls. When I saw them in their environment I cried just a little. Felt very incapable. Two of those girls eventually accepted Jesus. Along with several of the guys. One of the guys was a golfer from Denmark. I took a group of these kids to a weekend conference at Baylor University. On the way back, Morton the golfer asked in his Danish accent if we could sing the song "I Stand Amazed in the Presence". I fought back tears as I was driving around Waco trying to find the road home at how the Lord had so touched his heart.

Thinking back to Stillwater when at our first gathering with the youth there were a couple of girls that came in with clothes on that wouldn't much cover a swimsuit. That night I cried, wondering if we could ever love them enough to change hearts. Many of the university students I came to love like they belonged to me. We prayed together about future mates, future jobs and wisdom from the Lord. The relationships we made there will last a lifetime because of what God did in the hearts of a lot of students.

Our first Sunday here at Cowboy Church, once again praying in my heart "Father, I don't think I can minister to these women. They have been through so much more than me. I have nothing in common with them." I didn't cry a little. I cried a lot. The Lord spoke to me through Michael. He told me to love them until they learn to love and serve them until they learn to serve. What I found was that there were already a few here doing that. Made it easier for me to step in. So grateful. I wish you could sit where I sit on Monday nights and see the beautiful, sometimes tired, but oh, so beautiful faces of transformed women.

So I know the panic I felt for a bit last night was nothing new for me. Another chapter. Another group desperately needing a makeover from the One Who made them. A personal touch that would soften features, soften hearts. But not just for them. Bring it on Lord Jesus.