Feeding Bread and Making Gravy

It's already Thursday.  I think I have said that every Thursday since Christmas.  Mom told me last night the older you get the faster time goes.  I wish it would slow down just a little.

Whenever the big kids come home for a weekend and then pack up to leave, we start goodbyes in the house and follow them out the door with more hugs until they put it in drive.  After they leave the drive way and get out on the main road, they honk as they pass back in front of the house.  We wave to them across the field and pray safety as they head back home.

Last week the girls took their first weekend trip by themselves when they drove to Marble Falls for a weekend work crew reunion.  Michael and I followed them out and helped them load up.  I took a picture as they drove down the driveway and we watched as they pulled out onto the main road.  Then they honked.

Instinctively, my hand went to my heart and I heard a scream from deep inside me - "Oh no!  Don't honk!"  Not yet.  I'm not ready for that honk from these three yet.

They don't know how to make gravy.  They can do laundry and cook.  Sort of.  They know they want to keep a clean house - to be "keepers at home".  But they don't know how to make gravy.

I have more work to do before they can honk that honk.

Not just teaching gravy making skills, but other, more important things are still needing to be taught.  Proverbs 31:14 says that a virtuous woman seeks her food from afar.  The word for food right there is lechem which is Hebrew for shewbread.  Shewbread means "bread of presence" or "bread of face".  Then 31:15 says she rises while it is yet night and gives meat to her household.  I am not only supposed to feed them physical food, I am also supposed to feed their very souls.

I need to do what it takes for me to be able to feed their hearts Jesus.  Feed their hearts the Bread of Presence.  Fill myself up so I can help fill them up.  Meat and bread are both used in scripture to represent the Word of God.  I need to keep on feeding them that sweet, comforting, encouraging Word.

Equipping them for when time slows down a little for me.  When they know how to make gravy.

When it is okay for them to honk.

He Set My Feet Upon a Rock

I was a little overwhelmed last night, but threw some of it up for the world to see and this morning is much better because He promises to make my steps secure.  He promises to pull me out of the pit and set my feet upon the Rock.

Although there was little sleep, I woke up thanking Him for His steadfast love that He told me about in two different chapters this morning when I was taking Him in.  And because of that I can type and breathe.

My hearts is so grateful this morning.  Thanking Him for . . .

. . . three girls home safe after a weekend of sweet fellowship with other kids who love Jesus so much

. . . a camera that isn't great, but works when it's really necessary

. . . families who don't get upset when I show how great I am at being so unorganized

. . . a friend who knows when I say I'm fine I'm really not

. . . a testimony of God's faithfulness from one I've prayed for for so long

. . . lemon icing on anniversary cake

. . . gentle reminder this morning that I ate quite a bit of that icing while I was cooking for the kids, emphasis on gentle


. . . anniversary card with a button and rickrack on the front and words of how much he loves me on the inside

. . . a blazing fire on a cold morning

. . . my under counter ipod dock to hear worship to start off my day

. . . fresh grandbaby for special friend

. . . not knowing how to work the ipod exactly and hearing Away in A Manger several times in a row, reminding me of rocking and singing to my babies so many years ago

. . . my babies that I got to hold, and still get to hold because they came out breathing

. . . and that pink and green crown waiting for me when I pass through those gates.

It's going to be a great day.




Linking up with Multitudes on Mondays

I Need to Throw Up

I need to throw up so I can get my work done 

so many things going on in my head like yesterday 

when I saw sweet pictures of new baby and family rejoicing 

then getting the call to go to the hospital and walked into a room of grief 

because mommy pushed out death instead of life 

and trying to make miracles out of photos that can bring comfort to hurting hearts

 and then today when I found out I scheduled two events at the same time

 at the same place wondering who would not be happy 

that we shared the big room in the house we worship in on Sunday 

walking back and forth between gifts piled up for nearly-weds 

to gifts piled up for quarter-century-weds 

then cooking for kids to eat before they hear from a heart that now only wants God

 and wondering if my kids only want God and pray they only want God 

that they have a passion for the heart of God 

and then read an email about getting a pink and green crown

 that unplugged the tear pipes to overflowing 

then coming home to laundry and grocery lists and to do lists 

swimming around in my head because they haven't found their way to paper yet

 and as much as I need to do before I close my eyes 

I feel like I need to throw it all up so 

I. 

can. 

breathe.

What I Remember the Most is the Laughter

I stood in the doorway and saw the bed up against the wall with the trundle pulled out.  She was on the top bed and I was on the bottom bed laughing hysterically until Uncle Jacky opened the door and told us he wasn't going to come in and tell us to be quiet again.  We had our last warning.

She rolled off and landed with a thump right on top of me and we hid our faces in the pillow and giggled until our tummies hurt.

I saw the bowl with left over Ranch Style bean juice and an almost-gone loaf of bread by the cute little bread warmer.  Warm Mrs. Baird's bread and Ranch Style bean juice.  That was our snack of choice for movies; unless the movie was scary - then I ate chips to crunch out the music and screams.  Her screams.  I didn't scream because I had a pillow over my eyes and chips in my mouth so I only knew it was a scary part when I saw her mouth wide open.

I saw our clothes all over the floor from countless changes and an ironing board used to iron her curly hair flat.

I saw it all.  Transported back 35+ years, taking it all in.  I imagine often what our reunion will be like when she meets me at the gate.  Oh, sweet.

I really miss her.  The laughing uncontrollably in the corner of the racketball court or at the bowling alley bent over the ball thingy holding our stomachs.

Sure, we had our share of crying spells.   We were girls, for heaven's sake.  But what I remember the most is the laughter.  So much laughter.

Every time I go back I look for her.

That night, standing in that door, I saw her.

McKenzie

All Because of a Kiss

I leaned over and kissed him on the temple.  The kiss went from something to do to a place to be.  So I stayed there a minute - my lips on his temple.

  I closed my eyes.  

This is one of my favorite places.

He opened his sleepy eyes and smiled a sleepy smile.  It is also one of his favorites.  I left to go study and thanked God for this man in my life.  For his love for the Word, his love for all of our kids, and for thinking I'm cute after all these years.

It all started with a lingering, taking-it-all-in kiss.  It quickly became a worship time for me.  The overwhelmingness of the morning slowly went away as my thoughts went from reasons upon reasons to give thanks. 

It continued up I-45 and I felt so full as I thanked Him over and over for all that He has done for me.  For His faithfulness.

He overwhelms me.  

Before David became King he found himself in a pickle more than once. 

 One of those times found in I Samuel 30 he was about to be killed by his own men. 

 He was distressed (sound familiar?) and then in verse 6 it says that he 

encouraged himself in the Lord his God. 

One of the definitions for encouraged is to strengthen.

When we are full of distress, or stress, whatever you want to call it, we are to encourage or strengthen ourselves in the Lord our God.

One way to strengthen or encourage is to meditate on all that He has done.  

I have found that when I begin to contemplate His goodness, I can't help but 

PRAISE HIM.    THANK HIM.

If you are tired of seeing photos of my family, you may stop here.  I'm visual, so seeing their faces when I'm thanking God for them is just better for me.

Thank you, Jesus, for 

braids in brother's beard,

  hayrides,

sweet little girl clapping, yelling "hayride!,  hayride!"

(makes me smile to remember)

son-in-law who loves my precious daughter,

my boy with his boy,

wrestling in the floor,

girls excited about twizzlers in the stockings,

morning grocery store runs with sweet baby girl,

family pictures,

family pictures,

and more family pictures,

four girls with my genes,

six kids that I've known longer than anybody in this whole world (tear),

nine kids that I pray for fervently,


extra kids I pray for fervently,

little boy who loves that I love him,

spider man kisses,

aunt love,

and spending time with her.

Linking up with Multitudes on Monday