Thursday, February 25, 2010

Who Wears Short Shorts

Back in the mid seventies there was a commercial for Nair leg hair remover. These girls all came out in really short shorts with really long legs poking out of those really short shorts. They were arm in arm sort of doing the "hey, hey with the monkeys" walk showing off those hair-free long legs.

I decided I needed to try the Nair, after all, I had just finished sewing my own pair of short shorts. I think the term we used was "hot pants". Gee. I can't imagine with a name like that how I ever even got out of the house. Probably because I was wearing some dark panty hose underneath so it didn't seem quite so revealing. And white sandals. I'm sorry.

I was reminded of these things last week when I was pulling out the Sally Hansen facial hair remover from my make up drawer. Yes, I said
facial hair remover.

There are many fascinating things that come with growing older. Loss of eyesight, loss of metabolism, loss of estrogen and . . . hair growth. Hair growth on your face.

Kudos to the retailers of the world who jump right in there to help us manage the loss of so much with products that make us feel like normal people. Normal young people. We have reading glasses/10x magnifying mirrors, bigger clothes, and hormone replacement therapy. And Sally Hansen Facial Hair Remover.

The problem is that I subconsciously think that because my facial hair is blonde and I can't see it, that nobody else sees it either. I do try, however, to stay out of direct sunlight so my face won't resemble the waving wheat of Oklahoma.

So I put the cream on my face, remember the burn I used to feel on my legs years ago and wait the 3-5 minutes before wiping it off with a damp rag.

The problem is that lately I haven't hardly been home. There were no clean rags. So I used toilet paper, wiped off the cream, checked myself out in the bathroom mirror. Looked pretty darn good.

I then pulled out the 10x magnifying mirror. Not only was there still hair that needed to be evacuated, there was also traces of Charmin Ultra Soft wedged in between some of that hair. All over my face.

The scary thing is that if I hadn't checked out my 10x mirror, I could have left the house with toilet paper scraps all over my face that could very well attract attention to the left over hair.

Don't get me wrong. I love growing older. I just don't want it to get away from me. I can embrace some of the idiosyncrasies and try to counter some of the others. In order to do that I may need to price a 20x lighted mirror.

Saturday, February 20, 2010


The soldier slammed his fist down on the table and with a trembling voice and tears in his eyes told the students how he had
grabbed his 45 and headed to the barn. He was going to put a stop to the endless nightmares. He wasn't going to relive that war anymore. He was going to take his life.

God had another plan for this old man. He had someone He wanted this weary soldier to meet.

This meeting changed his life. Jesus gave Bennie a peace he had never experienced before. Sixty-something years after that war ended he can now sleep through the night.

I watched the students' faces as they listened to Bennie tell story after story, hearing how God has changed his life. I watched them gather around him to hear more even after he was done.

We have asked men and women in our church to come and tell our kids how God has changed their hearts. Many have come up to me and told me they would love to share with them. There are so many with amazing stories and my heart wants these students to see that we have heroes of our faith sitting right here among us.

Not only does it give the kids someone to look up to, it makes the heroes more accountable to try to live like they are called to live. It's so easy for us to forget that we are being watched all the time. Maybe if we remembered this we would live a little better. Maybe it would even encourage our kids to go out and be heroes to the little ones in their lives.

A young girl shared something with me last week that happened last summer. She saw some of her heroes doing something that disappointed her. When she told me about it, I couldn't help but cry. Not because of what she had seen, because I already knew about that, but because it made her so sad.

If we all lived like we were being watched, like we were someone's hero, my guess is that we would walk a more godly walk. We would not do anything to make these young ones trip and fall.

Be a hero.

Wednesday, February 10, 2010

The Doors We Open

A young woman walks into the bar and takes a seat, never knowing her little girl with brown curls and big brown eyes walked in right behind her. She was supposed to be home in bed, never seeing her mommy talking, laughing, and flirting with people she didn't know.

A thirty-something man takes the elevator to room 1150 and looks both ways before going in to meet someone other than his wife. He never sees his son follow him in and take a seat by the window until his idol, his daddy is ready to leave.

The grandpa with the critical spirit sits in his chair putting down any and every one who is different than him. His grandchildren are gathered at his feet as he goes on and on. All the while, he's thinking they are all in the other room.

We open the doors

They walk through.

There are things we have done in our past that our children may not know about but years later wonder why they struggle with staying out of certain rooms. In Exodus, Leviticus and Deuteronomy the scripture tells us that the sins of fathers will visit the third and fourth generation.


We can board up those doors.

Those people in the Old Testament were under the old covenant, but we are not. Praise God, that because of the blood of Jesus, we are not bound to the sins of our ancestors. I stood at a graveside once and prayed that as the dirt fell over the shiny silver casket, that the sins of that man would be buried along with that body and not trickle down to his kids and grandkids.

So what if you've opened doors you now wish you hadn't? How do you protect your kids from those same mistakes?


You pray that Jesus the carpenter will pack up His tools, tear out that door frame and finish it out as a wall. In Song of Solomon 8:9-10 they are asking how to take care of their sister. Whenever I read verse 8 I always say it like a little chant -"We have a little sister and she . has . no . breasts." Not sure why. It's just kinda cute. Okay, so verse 9 says "If she is a wall we will build on her a battlement of silver. If she is a door, we will enclose her with boards of cedar."

A place to fight off the enemy. A place of protection from the enemy.

Verse 10 says "I was a wall, and my breasts were like towers; then I was in his eyes as one who finds (or brings out) peace." Obviously this woman was in her late twenties, early thirties and never nursed a child. Hehe. Anyway, when we have our Carpenter board up that door for those we love so much, there is peace.

Peace for me to know I don't have to revisit that place. My sins are in the forgetfulness sea.

Peace for my kids to know they can't find that door. The masterful Carpenter repaired it so you would think it was never there.

Hammer on, sweet, sweet Jesus.

Monday, February 1, 2010


Crepe - 1 a light, thin fabric with a wrinkled surface
2 black silk or imitation silk, formerly used for mourning clothes
3 a thin pancake

This morning I was driving and looked at my hands and the word crepe came to my mind. Maple syrup never even popped into my head. It didn't help that I saw an elderly lady in her swimsuit this morning. She was cute as she could be, but she looked like she was covered with definition #1. I know she looks precious in her clothes, but without them she could use some clothespins.

I don't like saggy skin so I've done my best to keep mine filled out. But I know the inevitable is coming. For over half a century I've scrubbed, tanned, lotioned, oiled, used, abused, and mistreated my covering. Always thought I had pretty good elasticity until the last few years. It just keeps getting looser. Makes me a little sad. Even if I was in great shape like that sweet little swimming grandma was, I would still be loose. That's where the mourning comes in from definition #2.

So to anyone who really gives a rip, I promise from here on out to keep my loose skin covered. Of course it's still filled out pretty well right now so it's not a lot to worry about just yet. As a matter of fact, that could be a good argument for eating a whole stack of definition #3.

Mighty Woman of Valor

I was reading the story of Gideon yesterday morning before church. The Lord had given the Isrealites over into the hand of Midian, one of their enemies, because they weren't following God. So one day this little guy named Gideon was out working when he looked over and saw an angel sitting under a tree. I'm kinda thinking if I saw an angel sitting under a tree, there would need to be a clothes change.

This angel presented himself to Gideon and told him the Lord was with him and called him a "mighty man of valor". Gideon hadn't worked out in a while so knew the message wasn't for him. The angel then proceeded to tell Gideon that with his might he would save Isreal from the hand of the Midianites.

Gideon was quick to tell him that he was the least of the least. He had no capability to do any such thing. I love this story because I relate so well. The angel told him he was the one chosen by God to lead this battle. Gideon was not convinced it was God so made a few little tests for God to pass to make sure it was really what He wanted. The whole "fleece" thing.

When he was finally convinced, he texted 32,000 of his biggest friends and asked them to meet him for a fight. The Lord told him there were too many so Gideon asked all those who didn't want to fight to go home. 22,000 men ran like the wind. Then God told him to have the remaining 10,000 to drink from the pond and he would tell him how to separate them. 300 men knelt down and cupped their hands and brought the water to their mouths. The rest bent over and lapped like dogs. God sent the puppies home and kept the others.

Long story short, the 300 men held a trumpet in one hand and a torch inside a jar on the other. They surrounded the Midianite camp and when Gideon gave the signal all the men broke their jar so the torch would show and blew their trumpets. Scared the people inside the camp so bad they started killing each other and some ran off. The Isrealite people were no longer under the Midianite hand.

The 300 men? I think God chose them because they knew they were in a battle. Stayed up and alert knowing the enemy was lurking.

Gideon? He knew he was incapable on his own of fighting off the enemy. Yet God chose him for this battle and used him to defeat the evil.

You and Me? God has also chosen us to fight off the enemy in our lives and the lives of the ones we love so dearly. We don't have what it takes to do it on our own. God has to do it. But we have to always be aware of the enemy and on constant alert. Available and willing to be used.

Valor - to show oneself strong; warlike (Hebrew)

Virtuous - to show oneself strong; warlike (Hebrew)

I'm just sayin'.