Monday, June 27, 2011

I Shall Not Want

To want: (verb) to lack, have decrease, have need

Shepherd: (noun) Yahweh - Supreme God, herdsman
(verb) to tend, to pasture,

There is nothing I need that His hand will not provide. It's the things I want and don't get that put me in a bad place.

So what is it about "The Lord is my Shepherd" that I refuse to grasp?

Instead I wallow around in my hurt. I swim in self pity and dance in the ballroom of
of deception. Buying the lies that I need things that I really only want.

Sometimes I'm desperate in my wanting.

Believing that I cannot live unless I have. Oh Father, show me the difference.

I shared the words to a song once before but I think part of it bears repeating:

When my life is not what I expected

The plans I made have failed
When there's nothing left to steal me away
Will You be enough for me?
Will my broken heart still sing?

I want Him to be enough. I want to put all my wants in the "wants basket" and just give them to Him. Knowing He already gives from the "needs basket". But I'm a selfish child with my hands behind my back refusing Him because it isn't the exact thing I desire.

Why can't I wait for things?
Be content?
Not worry?
Deny myself?

Why can't I just trust the Shepherd Who tends to me? Who will only do what's best for me?

I love the part of the definition of Shepherd to "tend". Tenderness. Tenderly pulling me to Him to comfort hurting, to rest weary, to restore broken.

To hear Him breathe love words to me; His wanting, whining, silly child.

He is my Yahweh - my Supreme God.

I shall lack nothing.

1 thoughts:

bebe bird beck said...

This is so what I needed to hear today, and have for awhile Carol. I read and it breathed deep.