Tuesday, January 26, 2010

Defining Moments

I was in Mardel before Christmas and listened to a Kutless CD that was on the end of the aisle. Standing there with these big headphones on, I listened to this song and literally leaned my head over onto the rack and tears fell to the floor. I have to share these words that mean so much to me.

If You washed away my vanity
If You took away my words
If all my world was swept away
Would You be enough for me?
Would my beating heart still sing?

If I lost it all
Would my hands stay lifted
To the God who gives and takes away
If You take it all
This life You've given
Still my heart will sing to You

When my life is not what I expected
The plans I made have failed
When there's nothing left to steal me away
Will You be enough for me?
Will my broken heart still sing?

Even if You take it all away
You'll never let me go
Take it all away
But I still know
That I'm Yours
I'm still Yours
Oh, I'm Yours
I'm still Yours

This song sucked me back to a warm spring day outside of Tomball Texas in 1990. Five years before that day, my daddy suddenly went home to be with the Lord. Two years after he left, my best friend was killed in a car accident. Then, three years later I was taking a walk to have a little "alone" time. Back at the house my husband was sitting in a recliner. All 130 pounds of him. He'd dropped about 100 pounds because of chemotherapy. The doctors hadn't given us any hope. At all.

I was walking and praying and singing, just enjoying the beauty of the tall trees and the quiet of being in the woods. I remember this clearly, as if it was yesterday. I was praying out loud, only for God and the rabbits and one deer to hear when suddenly I stopped dead in my tracks. This realization came to me so strong that I said "Lord, I know that everything and everyone dear to me could be taken away and I would be okay. I would be okay because I have You." I said it out loud. You can ask the deer.

Then I laughed. I laughed even though I knew I was about to raise three children on my own. I laughed because it was a joy that changed my life. An altar I could go back to time and again, whenever I or someone else need to be reminded that He is faithful. So very faithful. It was a defining moment for me.

There's a young lady standing in a field. She prays out loud and thanks God for her past. For all the ugly things done to her for all her growing up years. A place she never thought she would come to. Giving thanks for something so awful. She even let the word "blessing" slip from her lips. This was defining moment for her.

Another young lady sits in a court room in another state listening to testimony of the horrendous crimes commited by a close family member. Keeping in touch with her through the process, I sense her faith growing. Not because his life might be spared, but because she feels the presence of the Lord over her every day. Pray that this will be a defining moment for her.

Another young lady approaches me Sunday after church. Her boyfriend was found dead the day before. The only thing her best friend knew to do to help her was bring her to church. I held her as she wept. I don't know if she even knows the Lord. As we walk her through these next weeks pray that He will become real to her. Pray that she'll come to the realization that no matter what is taken from you in this life, that Jesus is Faithful and True. He will never leave of forsake. Pray that she experiences a defining moment.

God, You amaze me.

6 thoughts:

shanna said...

Carol,

Listening to you tell this story for the first time was a defining moment for me. Until then, I had never met anyone that loved Jesus like you do. You have always been such an inspiration to me!! Love you!!

Shanna

~Trina~ said...

So beautiful, Carol, so beautiful. God and I have this conversation often.

Would you allow me to post a link to this post on your blog on my fb page?

Carol said...

Sure you can. I wish we could sit and visit sometime. I always loved our phone conversations. God bless you, sweet friend.

Lindylew said...

A beautiful post! I was just thinking about you today when I saw pictures of your daughters of FB. Oh my gosh how they've grown. I think about you every time I make salsa, and I make it a lot. I hope that all is well with you :) You have such a beautiful family.

Lindy (Dewlen) Goeller

Donna said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Sandi said...

Healing...that's what this blog is!