Friday, July 1, 2011

Sittin' by the Pool

Michael and I came up yesterday for his family reunion in Fredericksburg. I love this little town. I've been enough that the stores are not new and exciting, but maybe that's why I love it. It is familiar.

I came out this morning to sit by the pool and really don't have a thing to say. At least anything that would make anyone get introspective or anything.

This really couldn't get much better. There is new furniture out here, so I'm sitting at the end of the pool on a new little couch. With my feet up on the cushions. Smelling the chlorine which smells like barefoot in summer.

The sprinkler is watering the grass. The kind of sprinkler I like that keeps time as it shoots out water in spurts, then goes back real fast. Love it. The crepe myrtles are pretty in pink, the birds are singing, I just spent some time reading a Bible study by a lady named Mary Elizabeth Baxter born in the 1830's. Pretty special.

The manager of the motel here just came to put water in the pool pushing his 2 year old twins in a stroller. Made me miss the girls. I get to go pick them up tomorrow morning and I cannot wait. The part I'm looking forward to the most is all the stories told at the same time. I usually hear three different perspectives of the same story. When they would come home from Mother's Day Out when they were four, they would talk all the way home and part of the day. My head would go back and forth as each picked up her part of the telling.

I never feel like I pray enough for them and their older siblings. So often I wake in the middle of the night, knowing I didn't get enough "on my knees" time during the day.

Praying they be set aside for His use. That they realize He wants all of them.
All of Each of them.

I honestly don't think we can ever do enough on our own to prepare them for all the hurts of this fallen world.

I don't ever want to stop trying to do enough. Whether I'm on my knees, on my face, or sitting by a pool.

It was interesting this morning that when I was reading the Bible study of Mary Baxter
that there was an old hymn she had typed out. What was interesting about that is that it is the same hymn that I have had on my mind since last Sunday. It was on a worship CD I was playing on my way back from dropping Leah off at camp. I played it many times during the week, and then, wa-la, here it is again this morning.

This hymn is about giving ALL.

Total surrender.

That is what I want for my husband, my children, and my grandchildren. BUT, and that's a big BUT: I need to desperately want it for myself first.

So, here goes, take it in slowly:

TAKE my life, and let it be
Consecrated, Lord, to Thee.

Take my moments and my days;
Let them flow in ceaseless praise.

Take my hands, and let them move
At the impulse of Thy love.

Take my feet, and let them be
Swift and ‘beautiful’ for Thee.

Take my voice, and let me sing
Always, only, for my King.

Take my lips, and let them be
Filled with messages from Thee.

Take my silver and my gold;
Not a mite would I withhold.

Take my intellect, and use
Every power as Thou shalt choose.

Take my will, and make it Thine;
It shall be no longer mine.

Take my heart, it
is Thine own;
It shall be Thy royal throne.

Take my love; my Lord, I pour
At Thy feet its treasure–store.

Take myself, and I will be
only, ALL for Thee.

Now that is total surrender.

Never gonna stop trying.


5 thoughts:

Pamela Joy Taylor said...

Carol, I so enjoy reading your blog and hearing about your AMAZING family! My goodness! So many children!
I can remember talking to you right after you had Adam--you were telling me about all you had gone through, how weary you were emotionally and physically. You looked me right in the eye, and said, "No More Babies. Ever. Never. This is it." You meant every word. More out of pain than anything else. But I believed were so done.
Isn't it great how God erases pain and fear and replaces it with so much joy and love that you (almost) forget all the pain? And what you have is so much more than you had before? More than you could have imagined? I am so happy for you. And how do you have time for toenail polish??? Impressive and inspirational! I must go polish my toenails!!!

Who I Am said...

Pam said it so well. I love, love, love your blog and I too often think back to you and only three precious children. I think you are an amazing woman and I am blessed to have known you.

Claire said...

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Faith and Friends Bible Study said...

I really enjoyed reading this! I desire that TOTAL surrender of myself as well. It is so very hard to accomplish that at times, some days so much more than others! Thank you for sharing your thoughts!

The Barnyards said...

Wow. I love you.