Thursday, February 25, 2010

Who Wears Short Shorts

Back in the mid seventies there was a commercial for Nair leg hair remover. These girls all came out in really short shorts with really long legs poking out of those really short shorts. They were arm in arm sort of doing the "hey, hey with the monkeys" walk showing off those hair-free long legs.

I decided I needed to try the Nair, after all, I had just finished sewing my own pair of short shorts. I think the term we used was "hot pants". Gee. I can't imagine with a name like that how I ever even got out of the house. Probably because I was wearing some dark panty hose underneath so it didn't seem quite so revealing. And white sandals. I'm sorry.

I was reminded of these things last week when I was pulling out the Sally Hansen facial hair remover from my make up drawer. Yes, I said
facial hair remover.

There are many fascinating things that come with growing older. Loss of eyesight, loss of metabolism, loss of estrogen and . . . hair growth. Hair growth on your face.

Kudos to the retailers of the world who jump right in there to help us manage the loss of so much with products that make us feel like normal people. Normal young people. We have reading glasses/10x magnifying mirrors, bigger clothes, and hormone replacement therapy. And Sally Hansen Facial Hair Remover.

The problem is that I subconsciously think that because my facial hair is blonde and I can't see it, that nobody else sees it either. I do try, however, to stay out of direct sunlight so my face won't resemble the waving wheat of Oklahoma.

So I put the cream on my face, remember the burn I used to feel on my legs years ago and wait the 3-5 minutes before wiping it off with a damp rag.

The problem is that lately I haven't hardly been home. There were no clean rags. So I used toilet paper, wiped off the cream, checked myself out in the bathroom mirror. Looked pretty darn good.

I then pulled out the 10x magnifying mirror. Not only was there still hair that needed to be evacuated, there was also traces of Charmin Ultra Soft wedged in between some of that hair. All over my face.

The scary thing is that if I hadn't checked out my 10x mirror, I could have left the house with toilet paper scraps all over my face that could very well attract attention to the left over hair.

Don't get me wrong. I love growing older. I just don't want it to get away from me. I can embrace some of the idiosyncrasies and try to counter some of the others. In order to do that I may need to price a 20x lighted mirror.

4 thoughts:

Mommy4Christ said...

LOL you are precious!!!
I tried nair one time RIGHT before a big event that required me to wear a dress!! Needless to say my legs were NOT smooth and silky but red , blochy and ON FIRE!!!

Staci Danford said...

OMG..You had me rolling in my seat.. I could hardly catch my breath... I TOTALLY understand the YUCK of getting older.. How is it that the hair on your head gets so thin and falls out when the rest of your body goes into complete overdrive... WHY??? haha So funny... and I used to LOVE that commercial so much but wouldn't be caught dead even in my own bathroom in short shorts. hee hee

Ash said...

Getting older? Heck, just getting pregnant and dealing with psycho hormones had me so scared! I felt like my body was about 30 years older...I remember thinking, good Lord....I never had issues like this BEFORE I was pregnant. Luckily, things are a little more back to normal now. Hormones. Can't live with them...can't live without 'em!

Grace & Bryan Willnerd said...

I have perfected Nairing....but only after this exact thing happened to me :) .....grace