Changing Seasons

The Chipmunks are singing "Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer", the Applejack is cooking on the stove with Daddy's old white coffee cup on the spoon rest to dip and pour it into mugs, and the girls and I are decorating the Christmas tree. The tree this year is prettier than it has ever been. We all agree. It doesn't make sense, though, since it has the same lights, angels, and ornaments tucked in the branches that we have used in years past.

It was later as I was revisiting Christmas's past that I realized the difference. Always before, most of the older kids were here to help decorate. Jade and Kayla did a great job making the house so Christmasy. The boys would each put on a couple of ornaments, claiming their jobs done. This year it was me and the three younger girls. We were making our own new memories. As I pulled out ornaments with pictures and ornaments with faded fingerpaint I took the time to take them in. I think because they weren't here to put them on, it became more real to me that we are in a changing season. Trying to plan a time around work schedules to get together is getting complicated. We all really like each other and want to spend time together. I cried a little bit, feeling a little sad about it all. Then I got a phone call about a mom just a few miles from us who just found her son dead in his closet. I begin to pray for all the moms who will never get to put arms around their kids again, whether they are in jail, in the war, or in heaven.

I have so much to be thankful for. So Much. The girls love to do things like we've always done them because that brings back good memories for them. They like playing the record player with all the old albums that sound scratchy when the needle hits the vinyl. They like the Applejack cooking even if we don't drink it. The fire going and the Sugared Plums candle lit. Changing seasons is a good thing.

Slideshow

Yesterday at church a lady asked me about the wedding and if I cried. I told her I didn't, then said "Well, I did get at tear in each eye that just kind of swam around in there for a little bit, never fell out or anything." I told her it was kind of like a slide show. I felt like I had one of those old slide projector buttons in my hand and every once in a while I would click the button to see the next slide. His whole life went through my heart in just a few minutes. Click . . .

I'm in the delivery room with a fresh baby laying on my chest as the nurses are searching for the key to unlock the oxygen tank. He was born not breathing. I had read enough midwife books to know I needed to rub him pretty vigorously to get him going and was really glad I read those books. I rubbed and prayed for his life. He gasped in a big gulp of air and started crying. So did his momma. That was the sweetest sound I'd ever heard. Click . . .

Adam is two and a half years old laying in the livingroom floor in a body cast playing with his G.I. Joes. He had broken his leg and they had to put him in the body cast to mobilize his hips so his break would heal. He would just lay in the floor playing and when he started getting tired he would ask me to bring his baby over there. Kayla was 2 weeks old. I would lay her by him and they would nap together. They still like each other pretty much! Click . . .

Adam is about 4 or 5 and we are at Memaw's for Christmas. All three kids are looking through the tree to see if they can find their "Baby's First Christmas" ornament she alway put on the tree. Kyle and Kayla found theirs but Adam wasn't having any luck. He looked up at me with the saddest little face and said "I missed my first Christmas." You see, his birthday is December 29th - four days after Christmas. Click . . .

Adam comes in from jumping on the trampoline. His cheek had just hit Robbie Huestis right on the knee! When the swelling went down he had a dimple where the impact had occured. It matched the one he was born with on the other cheek, just a little higher. He had asked me once before why he had a dent in his face. I told him God had given it to him. Now he had one from Robby too. We affectionately started calling calling him Dentface. Click . . .

I'm sitting in a rocking chair in my bedroom rocking, praying, crying. Adam was about 13 and we had just come back from the orthopedic surgeon's office where we went to get results from an MRI done in Lubbock on his leg. He had a big knot on his shin that was giving him a lot of pain. When we walked into the little room waiting on the doctor, I saw his chart laying on the cabinet. I picked it up and looked at the radiologist' report and saw the word CARCINOMA. I know it was probably typed in lower case, but it was huge to me. I honestly felt the blood drain from my face. The doctor walked in and immediately knew what I'd read. She told me she really believed it wasn't cancer, that she was sending all his records to Cook Children's Hospital in Ft. Worth and that we would hear something in the next few days. I went home, went straight to my room and started pleading with God for Adam's life. Two and a half years earlier cancer had taken his daddy, and I just didn't think I was ready to walk that road again. I knew God's faithfulness was real but I had so much fear sitting in that rocking chair that I rocked him in when he was a baby. The next night Michael and I went out to eat for our anniversary and Christy was keeping the twins and got the call from the doctor that there was a 99% chance it was benign. She called the restaurant and told us the news. Michael and I cried the rest of the meal. We were so grateful to God. Click . . .

Adam is laying in ICU hooked up to machines that were breathing for him and monitoring his heart. He looked so lifeless. The cardiologist had just repaired a hole in his heart a little bigger than a silver dollar. He was 16 years old and he had a new scar down his chest that most don't get until they are much older. We were so grateful they found the hole, because the doctor told us that if they handn't found it . . . well, you know. Click . . .

I'm looking in my rear view mirror at the police car behind me. Adam and I had just eaten at Rosa's in Lubbock. He was on duty so I met him for supper. As we left and pulled out to a stop sign, I glanced up to see him behind me. I took a picture and sent it to Kayla and told her this is what it would look like if she ever got stopped by him. Click . . .

Last Thanksgiving I was standing at the stove cooking and Adam was helping. He started telling me about this amazing girl he had met. Told me all about her heart and her love for Jesus. They had emailed and texted, but hadn't talked on the phone. He was a little gun shy of pursuing anyone because he didn't want to get the wrong one. So he took it pretty slow. I started praying for Amber and for Adam to hear from the Lord. At Christmas he asked if I was still praying for her. I told him I was and he said he was thinking about taking her to eat. A month or so later I went to Lubbock and he asked if Amber could go with us to eat. As I sat across from them I knew I was sitting with Adam and his bride. Click . . .

As Adam watches his bride come to him dressed in her beautiful gown, he has a little half smile. When she gets there and her emotional daddy passes her off, Adam holds on to her with both hands. He can't take his eyes off of her. Click.

I love you Dentface.

Eli turns one!

All the kids were here this weekend except Adam and Amber. We had a Young Married Ladies' Retreat, so Jade and Kayla came to be a part. Amber had a wedding so they couldn't make it. It was a sweet retreat. We also got to celebrate Eli's first birthday on Sunday. Can hardly believe it. He's walking everywhere and loves to play with balls. If anything is round or close to round, to Eli it is a ball. Pumpkins, grapes, potatoes,. . . anything. He's so adorable.

When the kids leave, there is a part of me that grieves every time. I know my prayers are enough to keep them loving Jesus, but it is hard sometimes to trust that. I need more faith. I know Jesus is coming for us soon - very soon - and I just want all of them to be found faithful. Father, let all these boys - Kyle, Adam, Kevin, and little Elijah be warriors for You. Not afraid to stand up for what is right, even if it goes against what everyone else is standing for. And let my precious girls, Jade, Kayla, Amber, Hannah, Leah, and Rachel also be warriors. Let their knees be calloused from coming before You on behalf of themselves and of the men You have put in their lives. Protect them all Sweet Jesus, and keep their hearts close to Yours. Oh, yeah, and thank You for letting me have them for awhile to take care of. I love that in my life.

Drug of Choice

A couple of weeks back I went into a Kohl's and kind of shopped around. I tried on some things thinking I might get something new for my neice's wedding. The size I think I am is not the size I am. I'm sure as I was leaving the store incoming customers probably thought I had just received a phone call informing me of the death of a relative. I was DEPRESSED. I headed out the door to the first clean convenience store I could find, went straight to the candy aisle and found the Reece's Cups. I picked one up, feeling the glands in the back of my throat switching on the party lights and my uvula (the little hangy down thing) begin it's rotation like a disco ball. The party was about to begin.

It was then I remembered a quote I once read from Miss Piggy: "Never eat more than you can lift". I heard the music getting louder as I placed that sweet candy back on the shelf and reached for the King Size Reece's Cup. It didn't weight much more than the small one. I was trying not to smile, but for the life of me, the corners of my mouth kept going up. I quickly checked out and ran to my van before I ran into anyone I might know. I ate that cup. I mean I ate those four cups. There wasn't even any left on the bottom of the paper. It was all gone. Quick fix. Instant gratification. Guilt.

I drove awhile and came into Corsicana. I knew I was going to pass a Braum's and began talking myself out of a hot fudge sundae. I was so proud of myself as I passed right by and turned into Sonic and got me a drink. As I was leaving Sonic, I found myself to be in a delimma. I often plan my trips to town like UPS does. I try to make as many right turns and as few left turns as possible. I needed to turn left to get home but wanted to stay true to the UPS, so I turned right. Then I turned right again right into the Braum's drive through. I ate the ice cream with extra chocolate and then left to come home. Quick fix. Instant gratification. Guilt.

Funny how it didn't bother me to turn left leaving Braum's to get home. I'm not saying that UPS is from hell (place, not cuss word) or anything, but for some reason coming from Kohl's I picture a little squad of demons on my shoulder shouting "Give me a "C", give me an "H", give me an "O", give me another "C" and on and on until by the end of their little chant we all had one fist up in the air shouting "CHOCOLATE!!!" Then leaving Sonic they were chanting "To the right, to the right, to the right, (clap,clap). Silly, weak, me. Giving into the flesh. Needless to say, I didn't feel so good about myself by the time I walked in my front door.

I love the fact that on this journey to a greater holiness, even when we fall down, Jesus is so quick to help us up with so much grace. He wants to help us with EVERYTHING. I've had times in my life when I felt alone and asked Him to be the Lover of my soul. He obliged. There were no big hairy arms at the time to comfort me, but I was able to fall asleep in peace because I felt as if I was being held. Why do I forget those things? I know that when I crave chocolate, my drug of choice when I'm depressed, all I have to do is call out to the One Who tells me to open my mouth wide and He will fill it. He is the One the Word talks about when it says "Oh taste and see that the Lord is GOOD!"

Oh Sweet Jesus, I know that you are all I need. I get so mad at myself when I choose not to remember that. Thank You, thank You, thank You that You continue to be there when I get weak, and again when I blame someone else for my weakness. (Sorry, UPS). Thank You for the strength given to me daily for my taking. You bless me.

Kimberly Bridal

We did Kimberly's pictures on campus at A&M under the century tree. This is where Chris proposed to her. We also went downtown Bryan and found some pretty neat places. This first shot was in Bryan. If you look closely, you can see her mom and dad, Cathy and Monty, in the upper right hand corner. Over to the left of the bench is the word LEGACY. Cathy and Monty have given their kids a legacy most parents can't, by trusting the Lord through the ups and downs of marriage. They still hold hands and laugh together and enjoy being with family. I love this picture.
The picture of the clock tower has Kimberly under it if you look real close. It was a fun day.

Family Reunion

For 28 years now my mom's side of the family has been meeting at the lake for a family reunion. The bulk of the family comes in on the weekend, but several of us come early in the week. We stay in campers, tents, shelters, and cabins. We've survived tornadoes, floods, droughts, raccoons, family squabbles, water basketball, and "Sarge".
Mom and her sister Nancy had six brothers. Since the reunions began, their mother and four of their brothers have gone on to be with Jesus. Mom has buried two husbands and a son-in-law and Nancy has buried a daughter. We have grieved through deaths, miscarriages and divorces.
But we laugh. We laugh a lot. That's what family does. We love and we laugh. We celebrate new life born into the family and we celebrate new life married into the family. Every year we come back together and do the same things with the same people and always look forward to the next year. Some people think we are crazy because our vacation every year is a week spent with 40-60 family members. We think we are blessed.