Wednesday, December 10, 2008
The Chipmunks are singing "Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer", the Applejack is cooking on the stove with Daddy's old white coffee cup on the spoon rest to dip and pour it into mugs, and the girls and I are decorating the Christmas tree. The tree this year is prettier than it has ever been. We all agree. It doesn't make sense, though, since it has the same lights, angels, and ornaments tucked in the branches that we have used in years past.
It was later as I was revisiting Christmas's past that I realized the difference. Always before, most of the older kids were here to help decorate. Jade and Kayla did a great job making the house so Christmasy. The boys would each put on a couple of ornaments, claiming their jobs done. This year it was me and the three younger girls. We were making our own new memories. As I pulled out ornaments with pictures and ornaments with faded fingerpaint I took the time to take them in. I think because they weren't here to put them on, it became more real to me that we are in a changing season. Trying to plan a time around work schedules to get together is getting complicated. We all really like each other and want to spend time together. I cried a little bit, feeling a little sad about it all. Then I got a phone call about a mom just a few miles from us who just found her son dead in his closet. I begin to pray for all the moms who will never get to put arms around their kids again, whether they are in jail, in the war, or in heaven.
I have so much to be thankful for. So Much. The girls love to do things like we've always done them because that brings back good memories for them. They like playing the record player with all the old albums that sound scratchy when the needle hits the vinyl. They like the Applejack cooking even if we don't drink it. The fire going and the Sugared Plums candle lit. Changing seasons is a good thing.