Boys Don't have Boobies

Michael was taking the girls to the lake to swim with some of the kids from the youth group. On the way there, he said "Girls, we need to have a talk." Hannah immediately tried to figure a way to open the door, fall to the inerstate while escaping death and walk the rest of the way to the lake. She doesn't really like "talks" so being critically injured seemed like the best option. She chose to stay in the truck and bear it.

I'm going to try to remember the conversation as it was told me in three different versions.

Michael - "Boys don't have boobies. Only girls have boobies."

Girls - "Daaaaad!!!"

Michael - without missing a beat - "and because boys don't have boobies, they have a very strange reaction when they are hugged by someone who has them."

Girls - "Daaaad!!!"

Michael - "You see, when you hug a boy front to front and it crushes your boobies, it does something weird to the boy's brain. Something in the back of his head is triggered and because his brain is affected that way - well . . . his hair falls out. Clean out. Leaves a patch on the top of his head that is completely bald."

Girls - "Daaaad!!!!"

Michael - "I know you don't want all your friends to go bald at a really young age, so you only need to 'side hug' from now on. If a hug crushes the boobies, it isn't acceptable. See this? (Takes off his hat to show the top of his balding head.) This is your mom's fault!"

Girls - "DAD!!"

The girls and I have talked about this kind of thing many times. This is the one they will remember for the rest of their lives!