I stumbled out of bed this morning with a full day ahead. I had several things to pick up before the lunch for the family and then the funeral at two. It doesn't take long for my brain to jump into high gear, full of to-do lists.
I stood at the mirror knowing I didn't have time to wash my hair, plugged in the straightener, then grabbed the blue tube with the age spot minimizer, then the red tube with the puffy under eye reducer, and the red jar of deep wrinkle cream and wondered again if I put them on in the wrong order. If all this time opening jars and tubes was really a waste of time and money.
I put a little peroxide on my toothbrush to get whiter teeth and remembered the spot on my shirt from stirring last night's Christmas party sloppy joes. Grabbed the shirt with toothbrush still in my mouth and poured a little peroxide on the spotted shirt. Rubbed it a little, spit in the sink, and wah-lah(!) - teeth a little whiter and shirt a little cleaner.
Put on the brown pants from yesterday because I really like my little brown striped socks and went to put on my shoes and found my jewelry I had been looking for in the other room tucked snuggly in the toe of the right shoe.
I went in to Walgreens to make photos for the three remaining sisters, picked up more tea and a few things to go on the tables for the family to feel like we really cared about them.
Got back to the church to the kitchen crew organizing all the food.
The service was beautiful. Linda would have loved it. After all the sweet songs, funny stories, great hugs - it was what I saw at the end that touched my heart.
A boy bent over a casket grieving his momma. Weeping over her still body, no longer able to take a breath.
I saw a small boy rocked by the death of his grandma. Nieces and nephews so sad because she is gone.
What a testimony of a life.
She dearly loved and because of that she was loved dearly.
I didn't tell my girls that I loved them this morning before I left. I just opened tubes and jars and played with peroxide and straightened my hair, but I didn't see if they had any needs. I haven't talked to one of my boys in at least two weeks and the other in several days, and it's been a couple of days since I've talked to Kayla.
They all know I love them, but do I show them enough? If I'm gone tomorrow will they question my love for them or will they know absolutely that I loved them more than life?
Will all my "other kids" know how precious they are to me? My mom and sisters? My family who lives on I-45 in a metal building?
Will Michael know without doubt of my love and complete devotion for him?
If I wake up in the morning I have another chance to let them know. Another chance to cover them up in prayer and love and reasons to miss when I'm gone. Another chance to love more and serve more and sacrifice more. No one cares how big my age spots are or how deep my wrinkles are or how puffy my eyes are. They only care that I love them.
I have some catching up to do.