Monday, December 12, 2011

Some Catching Up to Do

I stumbled out of bed this morning with a full day ahead.  I had several things to pick up before the lunch for the family and then the funeral at two.  It doesn't take long for my brain to jump into high gear, full of to-do lists.

I stood at the mirror knowing I didn't have time to wash my hair, plugged in the straightener, then grabbed the blue tube with the age spot minimizer, then the red tube with the puffy under eye reducer, and the red jar of deep wrinkle cream and wondered again if I put them on in the wrong order.  If all this time opening jars and tubes was really a waste of time and money.

I put a little peroxide on my toothbrush to get whiter teeth and remembered the spot on my shirt from stirring last night's Christmas party sloppy joes.  Grabbed the shirt with toothbrush still in my mouth and poured a little peroxide on the spotted shirt.  Rubbed it a little, spit in the sink, and wah-lah(!) - teeth a little whiter and shirt a little cleaner.

Put on the brown pants from yesterday because I really like my little brown striped socks and went to put on my shoes and found my jewelry I had been looking for in the other room tucked snuggly in the toe of the right shoe.

I went in to Walgreens to make photos for the three remaining sisters, picked up more tea and a few things to go on the tables for the family to feel like we really cared about them.
Got back to the church to the kitchen crew organizing all the food.

The service was beautiful.  Linda would have loved it.  After all the sweet songs, funny stories, great hugs - it was what I saw at the end that touched my heart.

A boy bent over a casket grieving his momma.  Weeping over her still body, no longer able to take a breath.

I saw a small boy rocked by the death of his grandma.  Nieces and nephews so sad because she is gone.

What a testimony of a life.

She dearly loved and because of that she was loved dearly.

I didn't tell my girls that I loved them this morning before I left.  I just opened tubes and jars and played with peroxide and straightened my hair, but I didn't see if they had any needs.  I haven't talked to one of my boys in at least two weeks and the other in several days, and it's been a couple of days since I've talked to Kayla.

They all know I love them, but do I show them enough?  If I'm gone tomorrow will they question my love for them or will they know absolutely that I loved them more than life?
Will all my "other kids" know how precious they are to me?  My mom and sisters?  My family who lives on I-45 in a metal building?

Will Michael know without doubt of my love and complete devotion for him?

If I wake up in the morning I have another chance to let them know.  Another chance to cover them up in prayer and love and reasons to miss when I'm gone.  Another chance to love more and serve more and sacrifice more.  No one cares how big my age spots are or how deep my wrinkles are or how puffy my eyes are.  They only care that I love them.

I have some catching up to do.

4 thoughts:

Becca said...

I am so thankful that God knew I didn't need to put make-up on first thing this morning - because I would have cried it all off after reading this.
"She dearly loved and because of that she was loved dearly." WOW ~ that is exactly what I strive for, and you know why? Because I learned that from you. So, please, put aside all the doubts and any fear, and know that you love more dearly, more tenderly, and so much stronger than so many of us have ever experienced before ~ and you have pointed so many to True Love.

Pam said...

I agree with Becca. You show more love to those around you just by being there, through your hugs, one of the most tender and loving smiles I've ever seen, through your eyes and through your listening to those around you. Everyone should have a Carol in their lives. I'm so glad you are in mine. We love you Carol Howard!

Ash said...

Carol, I can think of no one who loves more deeply than you. You encourage and inspire me to be a better mother, wife and follower of Christ. What's ironic is you are so hard on yourself sometimes and yet I look at you and think, wow I hope to someday be like you, love like you and possess a timeless beauty like you.

Will you do me a favor? You need to write a book (or I could collaborate with you on the writing part) so that all your wisdom and what you have learned over the years will be always available for women like myself who could use all the wisdom, guidance and encouragement they can get their hands on. Is there anything HARDER in this life than being a good parent? I think not! You give me so much insight...and yet sometimes I still don't get it right. I love you!

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