Thank You

Whenever I get a little discouraged, I think back on the things God has done in the hearts of people on this little piece of land on I-45.  He constantly reminded His people in the Old Testament of the things He had done for them and sometimes I need to be reminded as well.

These two photos, one taken about 4 years ago and the other about a month ago, remind me of all there is to be thankful for.

He continues to work.

So thankful for men whose hearts came to know Jesus after so many years walking without Him.

For seeing hard faces turn gentle.

For hearing laughter and encouragement instead of anger and criticism.

For, as one precious lady said, "snatching them right out of hell". (!)

For bringing me here to this place.

He Loves Me

I woke up this morning around five and Eli was holding my hand.  I love it when something makes you smile the minute your brain reaches consciousness.  We came through Tulsa on our way to Eureka Springs to meet up with several of our church family to see the Passion play.  We will be home on Saturday in time for Michael to preach Sunday morning and have our harvest carnival Sunday night.

After about a month of being in "retreat mode",  I think after Monday I can breathe a little easier.

A couple of weeks ago Kayla came to Texas to take the girls to a Taylor Swift concert.  She brought Eli and Journey and didn't get in until close to midnight.  When Eli walked sleepy-eyed in the door he ran for me and put his arms tight around my neck.  Then he pulled back and said, "Lollie, were you saying over and over 'I can't for Eli to get here!'?"

I assured him I said that very thing over and over.  It was truth.

He loves that I love him.

We don't see them often, so when we do we love on them from the time they walk in the door until we strap them in the seat to head north.

You know what else is truth?  Sometimes the busyness of being woman with all that entails, keeps me from spending that time with the Lord I desperately need.  I feel like He is waiting in anticipation for me to come to His table, to sit at His feet.

Fill up to satisfaction.  Be loved, in whatever condition I am.

I love that He loves me.

I Samuel 21

Cursor on the title then study away!

I Samuel 20

Bible study from tonight - little more on Jonathan and David and then over to Psalms for a bit.  Turn off the ipod at the bottom of the page then click on the title.

His Word. That's It.

He wore a double knit lime green suit with wide lapels.  If he walked behind a telephone pole, you would lose sight of him for a bit.  His skin was so much darker than mine, but his heart seemed so much purer.

It was one of the first times I was asked to go to a church and tell the people about what God had done in my life.  How He had walked me through some tough years.  Three small churches came together for a day of singing and testimonies.   These churches knew how to do church.  They dressed up and sang gospel music so sweet.  They would take turns getting up to share in song.

They called for one church group and they weren't there, so this little man walked up slowly and as he walked he began to sing.  His great-grandaddy legs didn't walk too fast but it didn't matter.  He started singing before he ever got to the stage. I'd never heard the song before.  No one had, because he was making it up as he walked.

"I love you Jesus!  I love you Jesus!  Jesus, I love you!"

Over and over for almost 10 minutes, changing the tune as he pleased because it was his song, he continued to sing.

I want to love Him like that.  I don't love Him enough.  I began to question my being there.

This man was all they needed, eavesdropping on his love song to the Lover of his soul.

Basking in the overflow of his praise.

I spoke that day even though I wanted to walk out the back door.  Who could even follow that goodness?

It seems that every time I go to teach or share with a group, something happens or is said that makes me second guess what God has called me to do.   That I'm not good enough, or talented enough to do the job.  This past weekend the leadership team told me about their last retreat speaker.  She was a potter.  I've seen that kind of thing before and know how powerful it is to have that visual as they speak.  When they were telling me about her, I was thinking, once again, that I didn't have anything to offer.  Not anything to give them - no visual to take home with them.  I have no talent, except, of course, for the pom pom routine.

They would certainly remember that.

My flight home wasn't until Sunday so I thought I better stay and go through with it.  I had no "wow factor" but I did have something.  Something I knew He wanted me to share.  Just like He did when I followed a dancing, singing, praising grandpa.

His word.  That's it.  I love His word - absolutely LOVE it.  He wanted me to share that.  It didn't need a pom pom routine to be powerful.

It just needed to be spoken.  

So I spoke it and He did the rest.

And boy, was He powerful.

photo by Photo_Graphics by Pam


So grateful today for:

God's word
changing hearts
cardboard testimonies
west Texas mountains
pecan orchards
sweet praise
tears of brokenness
safe flights
Boy and bride hiding in back seat to surprise his momma!  Thank You, Jesus!
double date
my own bed
his arms
thunder and lightening
rainy nights

I'm Not Her

Tomorrow I'm leaving on a jet plane, don't know when I'll be back again.  I love Peter, Paul, and Mary.  If you didn't sing that when you read it, please go back and do it.  Makes you smile a little.

Actually, I do know when I'm coming home.

Funny how we assume things.  My flight is scheduled to return on Sunday evening.  As I was preparing to go, I wondered what if something happened and I didn't make it back.

Did I make a difference in the lives of my family and friends?  Did I leave them with spiritual wisdom that would get them through the rest of their lives trusting the Lord for His faithfulness?

Would I wish I had spent more time holding and less time cleaning?  More time speaking life and less time speaking death?  More time listening and less time talking?

So as I've been packing and marking things off lists,  I've been reflective.  By the way, sometimes I get reflective when I'm about to go in to town to Walmart.

What treasures have I stored up in heaven?  Storing up treasures is not marking off letters on a list.  It is holding daughter who is overwhelmed with worldly acting people who don't care who they hurt.

I want to be the momma who is selfless.

I'm not her.

I want to be the momma who is patient and loving, even when the house is a mess and I'm trying to prepare for a retreat a few hundred miles away, then another one five days after I get back.

I'm not her.

I want to be the momma who isn't looking at the watch when daughter is telling something important to her heart.  I want to be momma who doesn't get frustrated when the help is minimal.

I'm not her.

I'm not her, but I'm working on her, and hopefully she'll be the one getting off the plane on Sunday night instead of me.