She is Worthy

'I AM WORTHY!!"

The words screamed off of her blog page.  I don't think it was a proclamation to the world as much as an attempt to convince herself that she, indeed, is worthy.

Just yesterday, hearing "I feel worthless" from one who keeps trying, yet failing in another's eyes.

And then a couple of weeks back, being taught by a little one that sometimes we listen to the wrong voice and sometimes that voice is loud and powerful, but it is still the wrong voice.

Sometimes that voice is a great and strong wind and it tears your heart and breaks it in pieces and you question why you aren't good enough.  Pretty enough.  Smart enough.

But the LORD is not in this wind.

Other times the voice is an earthquake that shakes your very core.  Everything you thought was true was not and you question why others receive their blessing but you can't find yours?  You experience loss and can't find answers so you take the blame, believing you are not spiritual enough.  Wealthy enough.  Fun enough.

But the LORD is not in this earthquake.

Then there are times the voice is a fire and rips through and destroys all your dreams and leaves you devastated and lost.  You believe you could have prevented it if you had only been strong enough.  Bold enough.  Wise enough.

But the LORD is not in this fire.

She was listening to the lies from the enemy.  They were loud and jarring and hurtful lies.

Then after the fire came a GENTLE WHISPER.

There came a gentle whisper and a question:  "What are you doing here?"  She was not made to live in a cave, defeated by the lies of the enemy.  She was made to come out to His voice.

That's how He loves her.  He pulls her close to His chest so that she can hear the WHISPER.  He quiets her with His love.

She is worthy, not because of anything she is or isn't.

She is just plain worthy.

Binding Up

So many with broken hearts.

The shoulders shake, the head hurts from tears dried up but still wanting release.

To the sweet momma who does not know where her daughter is, to the one feeling abandoned.  To the one who knows God's will for her life but is still a bit apprehensive.  To the one who wonders if she can get through sleepless nights and how it is all supposed to work.

He came to bind up the brokenhearted.

Those words have been read probably thousands of times, but yesterday they popped off of the page.  So did the pink ink in the margin explaining the meaning of each word.

Bind up:  to wrap around; cover; envelope; compress; stop

I remembered a time in Snyder when I was coming out of the doctor's office and a young lady was walking up to the window.  She had a blood soaked towel wrapped around the bottom part of her leg.  She told the girl at the window that she needed to see a doctor.  I looked down and saw that the towel had slipped and was no longer covering the wound.  Just by looking at the gash in her leg I could see every time her heart would beat, the blood pumping out and soaking the towel underneath.  She was told to go to the ER, but she had been dropped off and would have to walk.  There was no way she would make it so I loaded her up in my car and drove her over after I pulled up the towel and told her to press hard. 

This is what came to mind when I saw the word "compress".

That is what He came for. 

He came to press hard on the wound to stop the gushing of life with every heart beat.  To stop the pain so you can take your next breath.

Even the pressing hurts, but it brings the healing.  It stops the life from draining. It brings in the next breath when you didn't think it could happen.

I cannot think of a safer place to be than to be enveloped, wrapped up, and covered by Him as He begins the pressing process of healing.

Hold them close, Jesus, hold them real close.

Cary Ann Bridal

A few of Cary Ann's bridal taken at McPherson Cellars.  She is a beautiful bride!

Steven and Cary's Wedding

Steven and Cary are married!!  We had such a sweet weekend with all of the family.  Cary was probably the most laid-back brides I have ever been around.  There were babies and kids everywhere - enough to get anyone a little stressed - but not Cary.

The whole weekend was fun.

Congratulations Steven and Cary!! We love you!!

Three Girls - Eighteen

It has been a quiet weekend because the girls have gone camping.  On Monday, Leah and Hannah will turn 19 so we went out to do our annual pictures while they were all three still 18.  I knew this would be the last time we do this that they will all have the same last name.  I have to admit, they didn't always love going out and doing the pictures.  When we were out doing these, they started talking about getting back together every year, no matter where they lived.

Things are changing at our house.

When Michael and I married we had three kids and that was enough for us.  For a little bit.  We were ecstatic when we found out we were going to have twins.  Kayla sure was. Then before we ever really slept, we found out we had another one coming.  Might as well have one little one for every big one, right?

Two years old.

Three years old.

Hannah and Leah got chicken pox one week and Rachel the next.  I missed church for four weeks in a row.

Three years old.  I love this picture.

Four years old.

They spent many hours at the games of Kyle, Adam and Kayla - wearing 

Snyder Tiger colors!

First year in Stillwater - all five years old.

I need to go through thousands of pictures to find years 6-12.

Thirteen.

Fourteen.

  Fifteen.

 Sixteen.

Seventeen.

And now, here we are at 18.

 Yes, sometimes they shoot things.
In their defense, it is only shot if it is edible (deer), if it kills our chickens (coyote),
if it kills cows (wild hogs),
or if it scares them in the pond (giant frogs).

 They laugh a lot.

They humor me and re-enact a pose from when they were two.

  For the first time in 28 years, I don't have a child in school.  When we decided to homeschool, I didn't really realize how much being together all the time would help them love each other so much.  They became best friends.

There are those that don't necessarily think I did a great job because I didn't push college.  I didn't discourage them.  If they want to go, I will be their biggest encourager and their oldest cheerleader. 

I have taught each of them how to be a godly wife and mom.  They know more about the scriptural guidelines of life and marriage at 18 than I did at 35. 

We schooled at home, and to some that is not marriage material.  That is okay with me. It is okay with them.

This weekend has been quiet.  Really quiet.  When it is quiet you think more - remember more.  Going through pictures, and especially videos they made on their lunch breaks, just about got me.

They haven't always loved sharing everything and spending so much time together.  I am pretty sure they would tell you now that they would not have changed a thing.

Pass the tissues, please.